So for those of you who know me you’d probably say I was extroverted. I am loud, outgoing, talkative and bubbly, so from the looks of it I am pretty extroverted. Wrong. I am completely and totally introverted and actually quite shy. It is my baseline. I was out with a group of friends the other night and was feeling particularly quiet; it’s not that I didn’t want to be out with them, it’s that I wanted to be out with my friends, surrounded by them and their energy, I just didn’t really want to participate in the conversations, I just wanted to listen and absorb their energy. My close friends know this to be true about me. They know my quiet spells and understand my desire to be quiet and surrounded by chaos. But when anyone new comes into the mix they always get startled. I am all of a sudden overwhelmed answering questions like ‘are you feeling okay’ and ‘what’s wrong’ and frankly I hate having to explain that about myself.
On a day to day basis, yes, I am pretty extroverted. I like to talk to people and be social, I am for all intents and purposes, loud and bubbly. But at the end of the day I am quiet, I like to observe, stay in my shell and be quiet. It is my baseline, to be introverted, but lately I feel like whenever I am being my quiet, observant self, people comment more and ask me what is wrong. In a way it feels as though I am unable to be myself for the sake of sparing other people’s feelings and making sure they’re content with their surroundings, which may involve my presence.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?